The last two days I had had so many things to do that I forgot to breathe in a way that actually brings me here - making the inbreath last 4 counts, stopping for four counts, breathing out counting to 4 and stopping for 4 counts. Well, maybe the amount of things to be done hadn't increased so drastically. I had simply allowed myself to believe that the pressure on myself had increased. I had allowed thoughts like 'how should I integrate this assignment', 'how should I place the situation I find myself in into words', 'this is taking so long', 'I'm so slow', 'Am I doing this right', 'Am I being too specific' - I had focused on what was to be done as something separate from me, as something that is expected to be done.
Instead I can bring it all here as me and walk through what is 'on the list' within and as breath, which means I bring myself here into the body by breathing and walk through each item on the list in breath tempo - within the counts - like a metronome that steadily gives me the beats of the song. I am the words, the voice, the sound of this song and remain 'sound' and stable within it. Doing what is here to be done. So I take myself by the hand, give myself a lead by breathing and allow myself to 'follow myself ' within the breath, be carried by breath. I push through this cloud of thoughts and feelingsthat has accumulated and seems to want to swallow me up and make me believe that this is too much, I'm too slow... Inadequate.
Breathing, I realize I can never be 'inadequate' to what is here, because it is me! I allowed and accepted it within and as me - so I definitely am adequate.
So I breathe, keep on writing what is here as and within me ---- adding and equating everything I've separated myself from within thoughts, feelings and emotions to be able to see myself clearly within it and see that I am adequate in actuality - I direct myself through what is here as me / within me.
I simply do not buy this inadequacy crap anymore.
