I've had this recurrent dream:
I'm sitting in our old red Ford Econovan which we used to have. I'm pulling the hand-brake. And it doesn't keep the car from rolling backwards down the hill. Nothing much happens. The car stops after maybe 100m, it rolls down in curves. Strangely I'm not trying to stop the car by pushing the brakes, I'm only holding on to the hand-brakes and wondering why they're not working well.
We had the car when the kids were younger and to that time we always had a lot to transport. In the dream though I'm sitting in the car alone.
I'm somehow allowing a movement backwards in an application of myself that I want to stop but am not very effective with. An application that was used and useful when the kids were younger, when a lot had to be considered. What am I doing in that car/application anyway? What kind of application of myself is this? I had it (me) parked there. Then I found myself sitting inside of it and rolling. ---
I stop allowing myself to enter the application of myself of an empty undirected movement backwards in that I am going into an old habit of … doing something - I still don't know what specifically. I vaguely see that it has to do with letting myself be absorbed by them into what they would like to do, or taking up something they do and now do it alone, like watching DVDs.
I decided to muscle-test whether the last point was relevant and it was confirmed. Watching DVDs takes me backwards down the curves of mind and is separating myself from me Here. My hand-brake isn't working once I'm sitting in the car. I don't need this 'car'/application of myself. It has no self-direction. Within it I am not self-directive. So, I shall stop this by simply not-entering this application.
