Why God created religions and mind-stuff

In His Almightiness and Goodness God created ‘sin’.

He created an incarnate son who saved thousands from the death of sin to the life of Divine Grace -- to reveal His Graciousness and Mercy.

He created miracles of cures and healings as a visible picture of His spiritual work against evil, which He created in the first place (but that he doesn’t really like to talk about that much).

He created draughts to bind the faithful to Him in prayer for rain.

He created calamities to spread fear – so all the despair would turn his Creation to Him in hope of averting the next one, or maybe then the next, or the next (?)

He created plagues that ravage across the land to show His Almighty Power and Dominance.

He created Himself as His Creation’s idea of ‘Him holding the Heavens in His Hands (definitely!) and searching the abyss and will listen to our petitions, and in His own good way (lol), bring about the answer we need’. Yaaayyy

In His infinite knowledge and power He will, in some way best known to Him, bring about what we ask. (in God we trust …isn’t it?)

He created Christianity to teach that He created and governs the world.

He created it as His Providence.

He created conscience to guide us and control the tendencies of 'man's nature' he also created us as.

He created intelligence and free-will capable of knowing and serving Him, and created us for that purpose.

He created Himself in a supernatural manner throwing a flood of light on the relations which should exist between man and Himself.

He created the Bible that contains this revelation as the Book of His Word. He also created Himself as supernatural. (megalo something)

He created another realm of existence beyond the sphere of nature with spiritual beings and departed souls. yup

He created both spheres, the natural and the supernatural under His overruling but everloving Providence. right

He created religion as the knowledge, love and service of Himself for our upliftment.

Thus he created Worship with its essence – prayer.

He created prayer so that man can speak to Him in acts of faith, hope, love and contrition to implore His aid.

He created grace and miracles, he created them to have meaning to us so that we do not realize ourselves for ourselves as He wanted to be needed.

He created Himself as the fulfillment of constant desire for interference in the life of man which He presents Himself within as ‘fatherly care’.

He created the idea of ‘purity of heart’ that pleases Him in some mysterious way, especially when it is the basis on which sacrifice to Him is prepared.

He created the universal tendency to refer all striking phenomena to supernatural causes.

He created error and exaggeration to test the faith in His Providence.

He created an abiding conviction in His Almightiness.

He created dualism.

He created his own justification by creating Leibniz.

He created a great plan for him to publish a work to show that the evil in the world does not conflict with His Goodness.

He created ‘optimism’ that notwithstanding its many evils, the world is the best of all possible worlds. Aha-hmm

To keep things interesting He also created Pierre Bayle so that he would deny His Goodness and Omnipotence. For this He also created all the sufferings he was to experience in his life.

So He created philosophers and their attention on the problem of evil.

In His Almightiness and Knowingness he created new philosophical terms to further ideas and diversion from simply being Here in the physical.

He created death for His creation to experience the other realms of His creation so it was enabled to remain within time loops and not come anywhere to realize their own source origin.

He created everything to remain in the center of attention.

He created Ministers, Bishops and the Pope as representatives to herald His All-Presence and to lead sheep straying toward Life back to Him.

He created Kant and Hume to awaken some serious doubt in His believers as a test of faith.

He must revel in the polarity of solid reason against the long-tested arguments for His existence enjoying the energy created.

He created new schools of thought that taught the idea of the existence of Him being a deep-rooted natural impulse. This, of course, he had also created.

He created ideas that the impulses of our hearts are of more value than the absolute certainty and that His existence could not be demonstrated – a certainty as to this truth could only be furnished by inner experience, feeling and perception. (Attention Deficits?)

He obviously created obscurity. Definitely.

And must love to play.

He created the ‘decision of the heart as a guarantee of the truth’ contra ‘the intellectualism of ‘Is God dead’?’ thus ensuring that we stay within and as the mind – the ‘heart people’ seeking the faint glimpses of His essential greatness and beauty and the ‘intellectual people’ seeking cognition and knowledge.

He created Himself as being ‘unknowable’ and thus all knowledge will be incomplete and consequently any attempt to reason about His attributes and our relation to Him is foredoomed to failure. (Playing hard to get…)

He created the soul and the question of its reality.

He created the doctrine of a future life – as life after death.

He created immortality.

He created fear of death – and fear of life – and fear of ourselves – and fear of Him – and fear of others – and the list goes on

He created us as mind so we could fully appreciate Him.

He created imagination and hope together with stupidity and despair.

He created systems that accentuate the distinction of soul and body which make the bodily life a mere transitory episode in the existence of the soul.

He created periodic world-destruction in Brahminsim and then Nirvana to be able to forget all this again.

He even created a ‘world-soul’: the unseen seer, the unheard hearer, the unthought thinker, the unknown knower, the Eternal in which space is woven and which is woven in it’

He created cosmology, theology, physics and mental sciences --- musical concord and mathematical symmetry, gravity, acceleration and insanity.

He created sameness and otherness.

He created the idea of evolution versus creationism to keep us busy and thinking.

He created the theory of ‘mind-stuff’ for those who accept evolution - they must, for the sake of consistency, assume that there is attached to every particle of matter in the universe a bit of rudimentary feeling or intelligence, so when combined in a certain specific way they form consciousness and eventually human consciousness. – Thus He created the immediate coupling of mind and matter.

He created volition and threw it into the equation.

He created inconceivability and thus a need for a creator. A need in man for Him!

He created trust in something Superior – outside of man. God is clever, in a way.

He created the opposition of mind and matter, of dualism and monism.

He created the idea of an underlying substratum.

He created matter as taking up space, subject to motion, possessed of inertia and resistance and contrasts it with mind as acts of consciousness that are born and then annihilated.

Herein He created apprehension of the material world because we depend on it and believe we are not really in control of it and limited by it.

He created a craving to find unity in the seeming multiplicity of experience but at the same time fearing it.

He created fear of influence of the mind and fear of limitation of matter.

He created the idea that ideas are the only thing of which we can be certain in Monism.

He created the idea that the human mind has had no real influence on the history of mankind in strict materialism.

God – in His Almightiness and Omnipotence created everything – we have allowed and accepted it as us – now we have to sort it out – redefine and redirect us as Life for real as substance, in and as mind and matter and use common sense instead of a concept of ‘reason’ that is made up of layers of ideas of old, unchallenged, pieces of knowledge – here a bit, there a bit. We actually really have to put ourselves together again in the realization that there is no ‘true knowledge’ of the material world or any others out there outside of us – we are all there is – it is all us.

Let’s walk this together to not ever give permission to this again.

Visit:

www.desteni.co.za

http://equalmoney.org

www.desteniiprocess.com

from observer to participant - desteni

Here I'd like to share my story of how I got to Desteni:

Someone told about youtube and since I had been reading a whole lot on spirituality, homoeopathy, kinesiology, channelings with Jane Roberts and Seth, reiki, auras, quantum touch and alternative healing, it was real fun to watch videos and get information on topics I was interested in by way of videos instead of reading all the time. I happened upon Desteni when doing a search on ‘the Anunaki’, because a practitioner had told me some things about them and gave me a book to read, but had wanted it back before I had completed it. Well, that’s how I saw one of my first Desteni videos – which was one from the History of Man series done by Jack. It took me a while to actually find out who it was that I was seeing in the video and to decide whether I was seeing a man or a woman – lol - this ‘Jack’ looked rather female to me! And of course the phenomenon of the ‘Portal’ was very intriguing. So it took me a while to find out whether Jack and Veno (from ‘my’ first videos) were different ‘people’ or what was going on here, until I finally discovered the story behind this. Around that time I made ‘youtube friends’ with Bella who was living on the Desteni farm to that time and I think she mentioned the forum to me where I found more background information and a place to discuss the material and read how others ‘were taking all this in’.

Despite all of it - the portal - being so unbelievable, the fact that I was actually getting answers here that didn’t leave anything hanging in mid-air - after having watched one video after the other for some weeks (!) - in contrast to Seth (who was at least more or less scientific) and all the ‘channeled’ stuff, was what opened me up to Desteni. Here I was finding answers to questions that had been with me for most of my life. Things that had disturbed me most of all in the books I had been reading were that you had to expand your consciousness, become more, something that is actually not-me-yet. This had made me nervous, because I was giving my power away to other people’s ideas and perceptions who believed they knew how to get information from my spiritual guides, what karmic lessons I had to learn, etc., etc. Well, I was looking for direction… And then there was the ‘message’ that everything is Here. I am Here. I am Here as everything as Life, one and equal! There is nothing to expand to, nothing actually superior – and inferior, not if I don’t allow and accept it. And there was self-forgiveness and the other tools. I was actually able to support myself – the search had ended. So I was actually able to start facing my Self. It’s still a process, and not such a pretty sight as I had once hoped (after reading Kryon!). But self-walked, and not ‘presented’ by anyone. So I’m learning to trust myself, my Self – as I am doing this myself, for myself. And thus, by building myself as trustworthy will also be able to actually support others as myself. And being able to trust myself means I can stop myself as Self-interest; I don’t have to have my interest in mind as priority when there is self-trust.

This brings me to the next point which is absolute priority in this world: Equal Money. Without an equal money system the current system of abuse will continue the suffering for all Life. Nobody will be able to stop their struggle for survival and actually realize what Life is all about, who they are as and within Life as one and equal if we don’t implement an equal money system to give everyone a chance. This is the primary step to World Equality within which we act as one to support Life. This is what I see as Heaven on Earth. Being Here unconditionally as equals. Being able to be Life unconditionally, supporting and being supported equally.

Here are some of the early videos I marked as favorites from the time I started with Desteni. There are a lot more that have since added to my understanding of where we come from and what we have allowed. So in this I have released myself from a search within the past which had shaped my future to be a search for myself. I have stopped searching and allowing myself here, allowing myself to face myself, to see what mind constructs of ideas, memories, fears, self-denials etc. I have given my power away to. So Here and now - instead of only observing and evaluating - I can take part in my life as a living participating being.

Self-Discipline and Osho

Demons and the Inner Darkness of the Shadow Self

Thoughts and Holographics – Veno

When I trust in God and the World fail – will we Stand Up at last? (The Design of Giving Up)

Give You to You

Happiness in a Relationship and in Life – Why is it not Constant? (The Design of Happiness)

Imagination and Entertainment – The wild card!!! Hot and sexy?

Amalgamation as Life as Freedom (Solution of amalgamating as life)

The end of man as slaves to money – god as man

God as Man as Powerless Victim – What is the Core Origin? (Bruce Lee)

I lost self-respect -- verbal abuse

Again I’m looking at the reactions within me when a person gets all worked up and directs the emotions at me in and as verbal abuse.

This time the situation was a completely new one. We were going to jump start my daughter’s car because the battery was low or something. She had the car parked in her rented space in the court-yard of the apartment house. There was a small strip of lawn in front of the parked cars and thus no other reasonable way to get the two batteries close enough to hook them up, so H. drove the car directly onto the lawn to have it face J.’s car.

It turned out the car was able to be started without jump-starting it, we had the motor running and J. was unpacking some of her things because we were going to take the car with us to U. to be serviced. This was when a man suddenly appeared in the court-yard shouting at us to remove our car from the lawn immediately, that he was the one who was going to have to listen to complaints from somebody – no idea who - the janitor (?) and he was the one who would have to look at the damage made to the lawn and so on. He hadn’t introduced himself nor did we really know what his problem was. There was no damage in the lawn whatsoever and hardly a mark to be seen, only some bent blades of grass.

I calmly told him what we were doing and that there was no other reasonable way to get close enough. Still agitated he told me we were to push J.’s car back and come around to the paved part of the court-yard in front of the garages. He continued in a furious tone demanding we get off the lawn NOW. I pointed out that no damage was done and that we would leave as soon as we got the things out and that there was no reason to overreact. In saying this I reached out to his lower arm to calm him down. He moved backwards away from me still enraged, saying things and me calling out that there was no need to get so excited. Moving towards the door he shouted he wasn’t excited at all (lol) and we would see how quickly the parking space would be taken away from us.

I was stunned. I looked at the others and H. asked what that was all about. J. said that he was always like that, she didn’t know his name, but he wasn’t the janitor. Well, I was considering saying that this is how it is like to be subjected to others’ verbal abuse and emotions and not knowing where it came from, but I didn’t want to rock any boats, because the situation has been rather calm lately. I just said that this is how some people ‘function’, shrugged my shoulders and left towards my car that was parked on the street.

Sitting in the car then I realized that the whole situation had shaken me up more than I had realized. It was like having been subjected to a sudden intense blast or storm and managing to stand still within it, but then the realization and reflection of it made me tremble inside. It started in my solar plexus area or slightly below and moved upwards and I was almost about to give in and cry. I stopped myself though and told myself to breathe and be Here. This helped and I wondered how my structural resonance was still ‘set up’ in a way to attract such situations, still ‘set up’ or why it was ‘set up’ like that at all. I knew from looking into such situations that the element of being ‘wronged’ or ‘feeling wronged’ was there, on part of the other person, but also on my part. This element was present in this situation also – it was detectable in the person’s words. I can’t remember feeling wronged when he said it or at the time shortly before this outburst came about. Afterwards, yes, by thinking this was totally uncalled for, but how could it ‘cause’ or ‘call for’ something like this? So it had to have taken place sometime before.

So how did I lose myself here and what did I lose?

Somehow I programmed my body/me/my water with the information of ‘being wronged’ and have inadvertently fed this concept with experiences that reflected this state back at me. Also, as the source of my experiences, I have created situations wherein other people act out this self-perception of ‘being wronged’. Within this context there is of course also the polarity of ‘being right-ed’ – being told ‘you’re right’, ‘you’re doing that right’, ‘you’re right in feeling that way, I would feel that way too’, ‘I would do that too’, ‘you’re right and not to blame’ – all of which is good to hear when you believe in being wronged/having been wronged. And, by writing this now I realize that ‘feeling wronged’ after the event presents me with the solution: I have allowed myself to feel wronged by something. The fact that I believe something can make me feel wronged at all is the program I have written / the information that I have imprinted into my water as me.

I’ve lost myself by believing I could be wronged by other people-as-me. How can I ‘wrong’ myself? By judging myself as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. --- What did I lose? I lost self-respect.

Interesting to see that I automatically looked for an event wherein I felt wronged before the encountered event, instead of realizing that everything is here and ‘before’ and ‘after’ are not relevant in this connection.

Investigating ‘being a slow reader’

I was reading a text and suddenly realized that I was losing focus and slowing down. I noticed how I was looking at each individual word and how it was actually taking me time to absorb the meaning of the word. It seemed like seconds before the word and it’s meaning were brought together in my head. Then slowly the string of words in front of me and the lingering meaning of the individual words fused into a context of sorts. I was functioning in slow motion mode – one frame/word at a time.

I’ve had this before. This time, however, it seemed I was sensitized to the point of ‘reading speeds’ because of a conversation I had on training software for building one’s reading abilities with Cam yesterday. He had pointed out that the speed of recognizing a printed word in front of you depends on the emotional charge it has within and as you. So the less the emotional charge, the more you are one and equal with it and the absorption of the word and its meaning.

I stopped reading and pondered on this for a moment. For me what it meant was that I was actually trying to protect myself from words and what meaning they conveyed. In fact I was trying to slow down the transmission of meaning instead of seeing the meaning was what I was attaching to the word. The word per se is ‘innocent’. So I was giving my power away to the fear of words, instead of seeing that I had to investigate the meaning I had imposed onto the word and release this within and as me with sf.

Wondering where this need to protect myself from words had first been allowed within me, the memory of a playground scene came up when I was about 9. After a practice baseball game in the afternoon some girls and I were walking over the school grounds from the field to the school building and they began singing “We won the war and the Germans lost it”. I was the ‘German’ and they the ‘we’. I remember singing the line along with them about twice till I slowly grasped the meaning of it. I stopped singing and dropped behind feeling excluded. At the time I hadn’t even heard of ‘the war’ before.

So obviously in reading slowly I was giving myself time to ‘test’ or ‘probe’ as to whether the word was ‘friendly’ or not – would it ‘hurt’ me – what does it imply etc.

This is definitely not necessary.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe words can hurt me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself within and as the recognition of the written word from the actual realization of its meaning by allowing a time delay as protective buffer.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe I needed time to fortify myself against the realization of the meaning of the word.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I had separated myself from the actual meaning of words and my interpretation of them by taking them personally.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take words personally.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take the actually meaning of a word to mean something other by interpreting and taking this personally.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project meaning into words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as a time delay between the recognition of a written word or the absorption of a sounded word to project a meaning onto/into it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as the distinction between ‘benevolent’ and ‘hurtful’ words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project ‘benevolence’ onto words

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project ‘infliction of hurt/emotional pain’ onto words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the way I interpret words in my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as ‘superiority’ with respect to words when I use them forcefully to ‘protect’ myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself as and within the use of words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use words as a ‘dagger’ to get a point across in a hurtful way as and within the emotion of ‘revenge’ and ‘attack’ when I feel ‘cornered’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as a ‘war’ of words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe a spoken word could separate me from what is here if I don’t allow it.

Words are innocent.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the innocence of words as and within me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project the fear of facing myself as separation onto words as the ‘aggressor’.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as a slow reader.

Sf w/r/t the actual scene of the memory:

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when playing baseball, believing I’m not good at hitting the ball because I hadn’t had any practice ‘because it’s not a German sport’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have alienated myself from the simple act of hitting a ball with a bat by thinking I’m not good due to having accepted the idea this is an American sport and I’m German.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the justification of being German and not used to playing baseball and thus allowing this idea to limit me within and as self-enjoyment of simply hitting a ball.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel constricted when trying to hit the ball within the belief that I didn’t have any practice with the game due to it not being a German game and thus place myself under pressure to succeed and at the same time open myself up to ‘failure’/’losing the match for the team’/’losing the war’.

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project being seen as a failure in this game 'because I’m German'.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to distinguish between American and German games.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make a game a matter of winning and losing.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘failing to prove myself as a successful and worthy part of the team’ and consequently be excluded.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I had already separated myself within and as the team by allowing and accepting the idea and perception of myself being a German playing an American game.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as different from other beings due to being a foreigner in the country, instead of seeing myself as one and equal and embracing the perceived differences as and within myself.

When and as I read a text I breathe. I do not allow ideas and perceptions within and as myself of words conveying something benevolent or hurtful. I realize the time delay to be a period wherein I am allowing to project meaning into the words. I stop projecting myself into words. Instead I allow myself to embrace the word equal and one with me.

When and as I realize a time delay between the recognition of the word as such and the meaning of it, I stop myself and breathe. I face myself within and as the meaning I have projected onto the word and release it with sf until I am clear within and as it. I embrace myself within and as the word. I embrace myself within and as the context and actual meaning of the word.

Self-pity / verbal abuse / emotional manipulation

Does self-pity provoke verbal abuse and emotional manipulation?

Starting to see and some self-advice. – Something that ‘needed out’:

Self-pity: placing my self into a pit. What a pitty! In the pits. And you only see the pit and there are certain circumstances that seem to show you that you’re in the pit. But you don’t actually see that you’ve placed your self there yourself because you don’t see how or why, you don’t see the individual steps that have led you there, the ‘rocks’ and ‘stepping stones’ that you took, that would take you back out. So when you see yourself in this pit you don’t in that moment realize how you’ve got yourself in there, only that you’ve got yourself in there. You see yourself in there, when you realize that it’s self-pity, it’s the way you see your self -

The point is, you could just stop seeing your self that way. Because it’s SELF- pit – y. So stop seeing yourself within and as it, stop perceiving everything from that starting point – it takes away a veil for you to see what can be done, what is actually here and what can be done to change it. Taking away the first and foremost preconception of being in and as the pit and having to remain there. That’s not to say that you have to deny being in the pit, the pit is you. But see what’s actually here and that you don’t allow that kind of perception anymore and thus change what is here and actually realize that you can move yourself out of that pit that you perceive to be in/as. And this is a first step. So if you don’t take this first step there is going to be the point that the situation that you’ve allowed will be simply be continued to be reflected back onto you culminating into a destructive force as and within the experience of being verbally abused.

So in some way words / remembered statements brought you into the self-perceived pit and these words reverberate as verbal abuse ‘inside’ and ‘out’. So words can be those that are based on your own constructs or those that someone else speaks to you or has spoken to you in the past that re-verb-erate within you and wherein you give your power away, your self-direction, cause you believe the words – you believe the words that they can limit you and hold you inside that pit. And then you find all sorts of justifications for staying in that pit on believing those words. Or you keep on telling yourself that you don’t believe them because you kind of have this construct of these words having nothing to do with you, they are ‘his’ construct, ‘his’ problem, ‘I’ve looked at my ‘pit’/mind-stuff’, ‘I know what’s here within me’ and ‘what he’s saying has nothing to do with me’. But he keeps on saying it, so the pit remains, he’s part of the reverberations that make up the pit in the first place. And these words if you listen closely will somehow be part of the backchat – will spark a memory, will spark a reaction, will keep you from being stable, because you allow it and justify it with reasons that let you stay put / holding onto the situation, the house – ‘half of the house is mine’, ‘I’m not leaving what I own’. By staying in this pit and justifying it you feel self-pity because you separate yourself from the words that are reverberating but are integrated as backchat already as reactions as a whole fuck-up of the whole thing ----- that’s what I called life.

What makes up this pit, what are the circumstances that seem to limit you that seem to take your self-direction, that hold you fixated in the matrix? What are these points? What is this pit made of? Why is this being in this believed pit in any way necessary? How did it come about? What is the story behind it? Why do you want to keep it up? Why don’t you just move, direct yourself out of there, not accept it, why aren’t you doing anything – oh ok ‘that’s where you belong, that’s the hole you belong in’, that was the words that were reverberating, that I repeated to other people re-verb-erating – placing me as victim – ‘that’s where I belong’, ‘I belong in this pit’ – ‘I’m not changing it, so obviously I belong in this hole'

So what’s the solution, the solution of releasing the hold that I’ve given to this pit – the hold isn’t real, so take sf to release the hold, release all the individual points that make up the wall of pit, the self-built wall of the pit, I shoveled myself into this pit, I created this pit, I created this hole in which I wanted to hide to define myself. As a reason for my allowed self-limitation, as an excuse, as a way to keep pre-occupied so I don’t have to move, so I don’t have to experience myself differently, but remain in suppression, so I don’t have to fulfill my own expectations or others’ expectations or even look at all the possibilities and feel as if I were a failure within it, self-pity! So I abuse myself emotionally by wanting, preferring to be and belonging into this pit wherein I have learned to feel ‘safer’ than ‘out there’.

What is ‘safe’? – ‘A safe’ is something where you lock something valuable up into – these ‘valuables’ are self-beliefs, and me somewhere underneith – I don’t want to change my self-perception, I don’t want to see what’s actually here, so I lock myself up and suppress myself nice and safe – comfy in my pit-y/petty-ness.

Till here no further. Self-pity is unacceptable. I direct myself.

Karma, Erhabenheit und gute Gefühle

Wir sind die Leute, die in einer Position sind handeln zu können und Verantwortung tragen zu können. Wir sind theoretisch geistig in der Lage zu erkennen, dass wir das, was wir aussäen ernten werden. Dass uns das, was wir einem anderen antun, uns selbst widerfährt: das Gesetz der Konsequenz ... Karma. Normallerweise müsste jeder verstehen können, dass man dann doch besser achtsam handeln sollte, nämlich lebensorientiert, lebensbejahend, in einer Weise in der alles Leben unterstützt wird, so wie wir es uns für uns selbst wünschen würden.

Doch das scheint uns irgendwie lästig zu sein, zu unbequem. Denn: 'Welchen Vorteil bringt es mir, was hab ich davon? Warum sollte ich Rücksicht nehmen, andere tun es auch nicht. Es wird schon einen Sinn haben, dass die anderen in dieser ihrer Situation stecken, das Gesetz des Karma will es so, sie müssen halt jetzt ausbaden, was sie einmal in einem anderen Leben falsch gemacht haben. Da müssen sie halt jetzt durch - und ich muss halt vieles richtig gemacht haben, ich war gut und werde jetzt belohnt. Außerdem gibt es ja noch das Gesetz der Anziehungeskraft, damit geht es mir noch besser! Das ist ja überhaupt der Ausweg! Ich erhöhe meine Schwingung und steige ein bisschen auf, richte mich auf das Gute und Positive aus und ziehe mir einfach alles Angenehme in mein Leben hinein. Das wird durch dieses Gesetz auch einfach aus dem Nichts kreiiert und ich bin fein aus dem Schneider. Dann brauch ich mich nicht mehr mit all dem Niederen befassen, das machen dann die mit dem 'miesen Karma'. Die sind halt noch nicht so weit und werden auch noch drauf kommen, wenn sie die Altlasten abgetragen und abgearbeitet haben. Ich enthebe mich dadurch sogar aus dem Gesetz des Karma und konzentriere mich auf das Gute - und schließlich gilt es ja besonders für die heutige Zeit, dass man doch positiv denken muss!'

So hüllt man sich ein in Zustände der Erhabenheit durch die Verbindung zu sogenannten Erleuchteten, nämlich zu denen, die schon ganz bewusst sind, die das Irdische schon gemeistert haben und nimmt teil an Meditationen und Satsangs, denn schließlich 'tut mir das einfach gut' und 'in der Ruhe, die dieser Samarpan und diese Ama ausstrahlen, finde ich einfach wieder total zu mir' .... 'und mit dem neuen Namen, den ich mir da geben hab lassen verbinde ich mich mit einer Schwingung, die wesentlich besser zu mir passt, in der heutigen Zeit, und die mir Führung gibt und alles das, was mein höheres Selbst mir bereitet hat leichter zu mir fließen lässt!'

'Schließlich will ich ja nicht immer nur Verantwortung tragen, das Leben ist ja hart genug! Sicher steckt ein höherer Sinn dahinter! Außerdem höre ich auf mein Gefühl und lasse mich davon leiten. Damit bin ich mit der höheren Macht, die es gut mit uns ( ... Schäflein... ) meint, verbunden.'

Keiner überlegt sich wo dieses Gefühl herkommt. Man folgt einfach dem, was einem ein gutes Gefühl gibt. Dass aber dieses gute Gefühl ein Konglomerat aus Resten von alten Erinnerungen, Assoziationen und Gedanken ist, das zwischen Bewusstsein und Unterbewusstsein hin und her wandert, zusammengewürfelt und ohne Bezug zur aktuell vorliegenden Realität im Solar Plexus 'entsteht' - an das gibt man ganz bedenkenlos seine Vernunft und kritische Entscheidungsfähigkeit ab. Und warum? Weil man meint, dass 'Ich es bin' -Ich bin mein Gefühl, es ist in mir entstanden und ist real und vertrauenswürdig, weil vertraut. Und insgeheim hofft man so mit dem Göttlichen, Erhabenen verbunden zu sein und geführt zu werden, je nachdem ob es sich gut anfühlt oder nicht. Das Gute fühlt sich gut an, ist richtig, verbindet mich mit meinem höheren Selbst und führt mich hin zur Einheit mit Gott! Hm....

Doch wenn man sich mal das Gegenteil ansieht, das 'schlechte' Gefühl, die Aussage 'ich habe dabei kein gutes Gefühl', sagt das doch bloß, dass ich mit dieser Erinnerung und Assoziation zu den vorliegenden Umständen und Erfahrungen in mir nicht im Reinen bin. Es ist da etwas in der Vergangenheit woran die gegenwärtige Situation erinnert, in dem noch etwas Unausgegorenes, eine Gespaltenheit, vielleicht bloß ein Selbsturteil oder eine Unsicherheit vorliegt, durch die man sich damals von einem erfolgreichen Handeln oder einfach nur einem Ausdruck seines Selbst zurückhalten hat lassen - also ein Umstand, den man deshalb irgendwie bedauert. Nicht mehr und nicht weniger.

Nämlich eine verpasste Chance - ein verpasster Atemzug nicht ganz Hier zu sein - sich nicht ganz als sich selbst erlaubt zu haben, weil man sich von etwas scheinbar 'im Außen' abbringen hat lassen selbst-direktiv und auf sich selbst vertrauend zu handeln, oder einfach man selbst zu sein, ungeteilt Hier.

Also müsste man doch gerade seinen 'negativen' Gefühlen nachgehen um sich selbst zu 'verwirklichen'? - Nein, aufhören Gefühlen die Macht über sich selbst zu überlassen und zu einer höheren Macht werden zu lassen, die man über sich stellt, der man hinterher läuft anstatt zu sehen was hier ist und die Konsequenz für die 'innere' und 'aüßere' Erfahrung zu tragen, die man in jedem Augenblick in und als sich akzeptiert.

Einmalige Hilfe in diesem Prozess diese Konsequenz für sich zu tragen, damit man ganz hier ist, in und als man Selbst, als und in der Einheit mit allem Leben, findet man im Desteni-I-Process. Es ist nie zu spät zu sich zu stehen - als Leben.

reboot verweigert

In der früh, gleich nach dem Aufwachen, gab es diesen kurzen Moment der
Orientierung. Es war noch dunkel. Ich habe die warme Decke wahrgenommen
und festgestellt wo ich liege. Da war im meinem Kopf eigentlich noch
nichts richtig los, auch kein Traumrest, der mich in eine Beteiligung
hineingezogen hätte, in ein Nachdenken oder Staunen oder irgendeine
Bezugnahme. Ich war für kurze Zeit einfach nur hier, liegend, unter den
Decken.Doch schon kamen die ersten 'Systemboots' - die ersten Versuche von Mind

mich für sich zu gewinnen, mich dazu zu bekommen mich durch, in und als das
Bewusstseinssystem wahrzunehmen und mein Hiersein durch es gefiltert und
geleitet zu interpretieren. Es fing alles sehr langsam an. Einzelne
Wörter tauchten auf und hingen wie in einem luftleeren schwarzen Raum
vor meinem inneren Bildschirm, als wären sie noch übriggebliebene
Informationsreste des Texts, den ich gestern abend noch gelesen habe -
kleine Köder, 'pick-me-ups', Nicht-ganz-Verarbeitetes, Interessantes,
Stichwörter für Konzepte und so weiter, die noch gesehen werden wollten
und eine Bezugnahme, eine Stellungnahme forderten.

Unterschwellig war da die vage Erinnerung an ein Aha-Erlebnis in
Zusammenhang mit diesen Wörtern, von gestern abend noch, und es kam mir
vor als ob mir das Angebot gemacht werde, mich aus meinem einfachen
Hiersein heraus doch vielleicht energetisch in und als dieses
Aha-Erlebnis in Bezug auf diese Wörter (wieder-) zu erleben - mich in
Bezug zu dieser alten/gestrigen Erfahrung zu bringen und mich und
meine Identität, als Ansammlung von schon interpretierten Erfahrungen
kompaktiert in und als Persönlichkeitsdesigns, durch diesen Filter zu
betrachten. Eigentlich war es ein Angebot mich ganz in diese Erinnerung
einzulassen, die Zusammenhänge der Faktoren neu und aufs Neue zu
betrachten, die zu dem Aha-Effekt geführt hatten, sie zu analysieren und
mich letztendlich im Kopf, in Mind wiederzufinden, anstatt einfach nur
hier zu sein, als Atem, aufzustehen und interpretationsfrei an-wesen-d
zu sein.

Hätte ich mich darauf eingelassen, wäre ich wohl nach kurzer Zeit
einfach wieder eingeschlafen. Doch es blieb bei dieser kurzen
Verwunderung über diesen Versuch mich 'anzufüttern' und hineinzuziehen.
Ich bin aufgestanden und habe mir selbst die Richtung vorgegeben. Ich
tappe oft genug in diese Falle hinein nochmals über etwas nachzudenken,
das eigentlich schon klar ist, das eigentlich schon erledigt ist.
'Einmal ist keinmal' - 'eins geht noch' - noch ein 'Remake' - noch eine
Perspektive - noch eine weitere Dimension in der man sich verlieren
kann...

Stopp! Ich bin Hier und ich lasse es nicht zu mich in und als Beziehung
zu etwas wahrzunehmen, was ja dadurch erst zu etwas 'Äußerem' wird
und mich von mir selbst trennt. Wie stehe ich also zu mir? Wie stehst
du zu dir?

Es ist alles eins und gleich. Es ist alles Hier als Selbst als Leben.

Durch Selbstvergebung gebe ich mir den Anteil meines Selbst zurück, den
ich durch das In-Bezugtreten / In-Beziehunggehen zu etwas scheinbar
Äußerem von mir 'abgespalten' habe. Es ist Zeit wieder voll-ständig Hier
zu sein. Mich selbst erst einmal zu sehen, als (m)ich, anstatt als
Beziehung zu mir unterwegs zu sein, unter In-Bezugnahme von Erinnerungen
von Erfahrungen, überlagerten Wertungen diesbezüglich, Emotionen und
Interpretationen - alles tausendfach aufgewärmt und schon lange nicht
mehr real - nie real gewesen, weil es immer nur durch und als Mind
getrennt von mir Hier stattgefunden hat und ständig hin und her
projiziert und reflektiert wurde.

Mensch hör auf! Atme und sei Hier! GANZ anWESENd.

Ärger - Verachtung - Angst - Hilflosigkeit

Stichwort Ärger – wieder einmal Thema bei mir. Ein Gefühl der Verachtung kam etwas später hoch beim Nachdenken darüber und dass ich jemanden,der so schnell ärgerlich ist, irgendwie verachte – als wär ich besser! Auf der Suche nach deren Ursprung in mir, entschloss ich mir anzusehen, ob der folgende Satz Bestand hat: ‚Ich verachte den Ärger in mir, darum unterdrücke ich ihn.‘

Eine kurze Vorgeschichte: Ich kann mich noch genau erinnern wie die Bereitschaft und der Entschluss in mir entstanden ist meinen Mann zu lieben. Wir waren im Urlaub auf einem wunderschönen bewaldeten Campingplatz in Südfrankreich, als ich ihn von hinten umarmt habe. Hierbei kam der Gedanke in mir hoch: ‚Ich kann ihn lieben‘. Ich war zu dem Zeitpunkt schon schwanger und dadurch stand die Frage für mich im Raum ob wir heiraten sollten. Ich machte das Heiraten von ‚Liebe‘ abhängig und so fiel also die Entscheidung. Mir gefiel ja auch sein braungebräunter Rücken, seine Augen hatten gelegentlich so ein leuchtendes Strahlen und noch einiges - und er schien meinem Vater gar nicht ähnlich zu sein.

Der Ärger, über den ich hier schreiben will, erinnert mich an meine Hilflosigkeit und mein Unterlegenheitsgefühl, das ich oft in meiner Jugendzeit zu Hause hatte, als ‚irgendwas los war‘ und mein Vater laut wurde. Es war oft nur ein kurzer Moment – ein Ausruf des Entrüstetseins, als ob ihm jemand etwas zumutete mit seinem Verhalten oder der Nichtbeachtung ungeschriebener Regeln, etwas das ihm irgendwie auf einmal zuwider lief. Dies zog sich als veränderte Grundstimmung allerdings oft etwas in die Länge. Mein Bruder und ich haben uns dann oft davongeschlichen und die Tür hinter uns zugemacht, oder hinter einer Ecke gelauscht was auf einmal los war.

Als ich auszog war ich froh aus dieser, für mich oft angespannten, Grundsituation herauszukommen.

Nun hatte ich zwar jetzt nicht mehr tagtäglich mit meinem Vater zu tun, aber meine ‚Wahrheit‘, die ich in mir trug war dieselbe geblieben - mein Hiersein wenn ich Ärger begegne war dasselbe geblieben. Meine ‚Wahrheit‘, wie ich mich also erlebe, hatte sich nicht verändert. Ich hatte mir im Laufe der Zeit eine Verhaltensweise angewöhnt diesen Ärger, der mir begegnet, nicht zu beachten, zu versuchen einfach wegzusehen und dadurch meine Reaktion darauf wegzudrücken. Ich war ja auch damals als ich auszog vor diesen Ausbrüchen weggelaufen. Ich hatte mir nicht zugestanden mich anders wahrzunehmen: eben nicht als hilfslos, an mir zweifelnd, ob ich doch irgendwie mit dran schuld war, oder ob ich es gar ganz war, der den Ärger ausgelöst hat.

So befinde ich mich nun in einer Situation, in der ich feststellen muss, dass ich mich in Bezug auf Ärger und diesen einfach nicht Wahrhaben/Wahrnehmenwollen und doch im Geheimen den anderen dafür verantwortlich machen – in eine Gesamtsituation extremem verbalen Missbrauchs hinein’ver‘wickelt habe. Es ist der Ärger über verbalen Missbrauch.

Darin habe ich mich jahrelang erlaubt. Und unter diesen Bedingungen habe ich mich mehr oder weniger ‚akzeptiert‘. Ich hatte mir nicht die Möglichkeit gelassen einen anderen Ausgangspunkt in mir zuzulassen. Es war dabei immer das Gefühl da an der Erfahrung des anderen von sich, die mir gegenüber auf diese Weise ausgedrückt wird, auf die er reagiert hat, ‚irgendwie gemeint zu sein‘ ‚schuld sein zu können‘. Ich habe dieses Gefühl als Widerspiegelung der Realität wahrgenommen und es nicht hinterfragt. Ich habe mich damit identifiziert und es dadurch über mich gestellt, weil ich dadurch eine Machtlosigkeit in mir und als ich erlaubt habe. Und dementsprechend konnte ich dann auch nur re-agieren und nicht aus der Realität des Hierseins als Selbst handeln.

So habe ich ‚einfach nicht gewusst‘ was ich sagen oder tun kann. Es war mir nicht klar, dass mir immer wieder gespiegelt wird, was ich mit mir hier jedes Mal mache. Ich kriege immer mehr gezeigt wie stark ich mich eigentlich selbst in und als dieses Thema unterdrücke. Und mir war nicht klar wie der Ärger darüber gärt wie ich mit mir selbst darin umgehe, und dass ich alle möglichen Ausreden und Rechtfertigungen in mir erlaube, anstatt mich dem ganzen Thema Ärger zu stellen, indem ich mich darin wahrnehme und ebenbürtig dastehe und mir ein Handeln ermögliche, das den Ausgangspunkt ‚Selbst-Hier‘ hat, ohne alte immer wieder aufgewärmte Gefühlsüberlagerungen.

Die Angst ‚Was wird sein wenn ich mir die Situation ‚Ärger‘ ansehe?‘, wenn ich mich nicht verstecke, sei es im aktuellen ‚äußeren‘ Verlauf von ‚verbalem Missbrauch‘ oder ‚emotionaler Manipulation‘ - oder in mir, hat auch dazu beigetragen, dass ich nicht selbst-gerichtet gehandelt habe. - Das ist aber letztendlich eine Projektion in die Zukunft, in der ich mir erlaube mich selbst zu manipulieren und mich ‚machtlos‘ zu ‚halten‘. Die Angst erlaube ich nicht mehr. - Ich bin Hier, atme und schaue mir an wer ich in meiner Welt bin, als was ich mich zugelassen habe und ändere das was mir nicht gefällt zum Besten aller, Hier.

Um noch einmal zu meinem ersten Satz zurückzukommen:„Ich verachte den Ärger in mir, darum unterdrücke ich ihn“ - das heißt, eigentlich unterdrücke ich mich. Ich verachte mich in dem Zustand von Ärger. Ich weiß welches Spiel in einem Ärgerscenario gespielt wird. Es ist ein Kampf um Überlegenheit und die Angst vor Unterlegenheit, die zu ‚Bissigkeit‘ führt – wie Tollwut. Ein ‚Spieler‘ unterdrückt diese Angst und ‚beißt oder schnauzt sich selber klein‘, der andere reagiert auf diese Angst in Form von Ärger, der nach außen gerichtet ist und versucht sie so abzuwehren. In beiden Fällen wird das Gefühl ‚Angst‘ nicht hinterfragt und gar nicht erst richtig gesehen. Man trennt sich davon ab und lässt sich davon steuern und trägt so noch mehr zu dem Gefühl von Machtlosigkeit bei.

Durch die Arbeit im SRA – Desteni-I-Process Kurs werden solchen Zusammenhänge durch die Anwendung der vielen dort gebotenen und erklärten ‚Werkzeuge‘ und Techniken wesentlich schneller klar und dadurch kann ich endlich mein Leben selbst in die Hand nehmen und zwar ohne Angst und Hilflosigkeit für mich als Leben / im Leben klare Ansagen machen. Die Selbstunterdrückung beginnt hierdurch ein Ende zu nehmen.