As stated in my previous post on the dream I had, I will now look at this within self-forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in an inner reality that I held within me as a ‘room’ within which I saw a ‘dull cloth on a bed’ that held the idea/perception of ‘deterioration through time’ of me-as-body/skin as one dimension and ‘mind state that has been shed’ as another dimension of /as and within me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in mind states that I housed within my body that drew life from the molecules of and as its substance like a parasite and caused ‘deterioration through time’, dullness, lifelessness, flatness and decrepitude, instead of seeing/realizing and facing who-I-am within and as it, and stopping myself within and as it.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself as my beingness, the who-I-am within and as a mind-state that I see in form of a dull, lifeless, decrepit and flat room in front of me – that has become me to a degree that I equate me to a ‘dull cloth’ that I have become within and as my participation in this state of beingness, instead of taking a deep in-breath, seeing my creation, participation, allowance and acceptance of it as me and stopping myself within and as it within the very beginning of its onset as/within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the nature of this ‘room’ as mind-state as and within me of patterns, ideas, beliefs during years of separation within/as me that I participated in and thus allowed and accepted to abuse myself as life and become lifeless, dull, flat and decrepit like the image of the dull cloth on the bed in this ‘inner room’ of the mind.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define the state of the room as dull, flat, lifeless and decrepit – indicating the belief that with-energy it would be vivacious, full and vibrant as the polarity opposite of what I was encountering within seeing this inner-room-as-me, thus allowing a fear to exist within and as me of the death of myself as this mind-state leading to the projection of myself into a future ‘in the city’ that is unknown and feared due to a starting point of judging what I was seeing within a polarity of lifeless/vivacious, dull/vibrant, decrepit/energetically supported, flat/3-dimensional, and thus fearing loss of myself as an idea/belief I had lived of myself as consciousness and consequently not-knowing what-will-be / who ‘I will be’ / who I can see myself as in the city/see-ty/c(see)-I-ty, instead of standing in the door (+ standing as myself) in the stability of breath and directing myself breath by breath as and within self-trust Here walking within-facing-myself equal and one as best for all in every moment.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to entertain a belief of establishing myself in the c-i-ty as the projection I allow of myself into a future situation of an ‘embellishment of stabbing the energy’ = e-stab-lish, wherein I tie myself to an idea of equalizing myself w/r/t energy/consciousness/mind and fear facing other decrepit rooms as me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the future based on the realization of what I have created in the past.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as self-compromise w/r/t self-honesty within the allowance and participation in and as ‘desperation’ when realizing myself as ‘alone’ within and as the process of ‘establishing myself’, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that I-am-Here and all-is-here-as-me and within process of being one and equal, thus I am not alone, but all-one.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear aging, being equalized to earth as the ‘cloth of me’, my skin, flat, dull, decrepit and lifeless, instead of seeing equalizing myself with mind and then the physical is the only way to life itself, as Here, as one, as equal.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as the consequence of regret at having allowed mind-as-me to suck dry what is life within and as me to a state where I am no more than a dull, decrepit, flat and lifeless room/cloth and thus at a point where I could have allowed myself as breath and self-direction, but instead allowed and accepted myself within projections of fear of the future wherein I ‘e-stab-lish’ and ‘e-sta-b-lish’ (‘energy – stability – be – leash’) meaning that I desire energy to create stability and thus allow it to lead me by a leash and allow energy to be my leash – tying me to see it (the energy) – c-it-ty --- instead of seeing AND walking, applying and being Here in breath in every moment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/face and consistently walk/apply myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the past and thus create more of the same for fear of change/loss/death by/through and in projecting myself as such into the future.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from life/substance as the source/origin of me to such a degree up till now as represented in the dream picture of me standing in the door looking onto my acceptances and allowances and react within and as fear of consequence as the ‘walking away’ in the ‘unknown of self’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence, instead of seeing that I am actually fearing what I have created as me, which is Me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to despair at being ‘too old’/decrepit/lifeless/dull to walk these consequences of who I have allowed myself to be.
I allow myself as and within self-will, self-direction and self-application --- within which I am able to direct myself into and as self-willed self-application.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in an inner reality that I held within me as a ‘room’ within which I saw a ‘dull cloth on a bed’ that held the idea/perception of ‘deterioration through time’ of me-as-body/skin as one dimension and ‘mind state that has been shed’ as another dimension of /as and within me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in mind states that I housed within my body that drew life from the molecules of and as its substance like a parasite and caused ‘deterioration through time’, dullness, lifelessness, flatness and decrepitude, instead of seeing/realizing and facing who-I-am within and as it, and stopping myself within and as it.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself as my beingness, the who-I-am within and as a mind-state that I see in form of a dull, lifeless, decrepit and flat room in front of me – that has become me to a degree that I equate me to a ‘dull cloth’ that I have become within and as my participation in this state of beingness, instead of taking a deep in-breath, seeing my creation, participation, allowance and acceptance of it as me and stopping myself within and as it within the very beginning of its onset as/within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the nature of this ‘room’ as mind-state as and within me of patterns, ideas, beliefs during years of separation within/as me that I participated in and thus allowed and accepted to abuse myself as life and become lifeless, dull, flat and decrepit like the image of the dull cloth on the bed in this ‘inner room’ of the mind.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define the state of the room as dull, flat, lifeless and decrepit – indicating the belief that with-energy it would be vivacious, full and vibrant as the polarity opposite of what I was encountering within seeing this inner-room-as-me, thus allowing a fear to exist within and as me of the death of myself as this mind-state leading to the projection of myself into a future ‘in the city’ that is unknown and feared due to a starting point of judging what I was seeing within a polarity of lifeless/vivacious, dull/vibrant, decrepit/energetically supported, flat/3-dimensional, and thus fearing loss of myself as an idea/belief I had lived of myself as consciousness and consequently not-knowing what-will-be / who ‘I will be’ / who I can see myself as in the city/see-ty/c(see)-I-ty, instead of standing in the door (+ standing as myself) in the stability of breath and directing myself breath by breath as and within self-trust Here walking within-facing-myself equal and one as best for all in every moment.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to entertain a belief of establishing myself in the c-i-ty as the projection I allow of myself into a future situation of an ‘embellishment of stabbing the energy’ = e-stab-lish, wherein I tie myself to an idea of equalizing myself w/r/t energy/consciousness/mind and fear facing other decrepit rooms as me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the future based on the realization of what I have created in the past.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as self-compromise w/r/t self-honesty within the allowance and participation in and as ‘desperation’ when realizing myself as ‘alone’ within and as the process of ‘establishing myself’, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that I-am-Here and all-is-here-as-me and within process of being one and equal, thus I am not alone, but all-one.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear aging, being equalized to earth as the ‘cloth of me’, my skin, flat, dull, decrepit and lifeless, instead of seeing equalizing myself with mind and then the physical is the only way to life itself, as Here, as one, as equal.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself within and as the consequence of regret at having allowed mind-as-me to suck dry what is life within and as me to a state where I am no more than a dull, decrepit, flat and lifeless room/cloth and thus at a point where I could have allowed myself as breath and self-direction, but instead allowed and accepted myself within projections of fear of the future wherein I ‘e-stab-lish’ and ‘e-sta-b-lish’ (‘energy – stability – be – leash’) meaning that I desire energy to create stability and thus allow it to lead me by a leash and allow energy to be my leash – tying me to see it (the energy) – c-it-ty --- instead of seeing AND walking, applying and being Here in breath in every moment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/face and consistently walk/apply myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the past and thus create more of the same for fear of change/loss/death by/through and in projecting myself as such into the future.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from life/substance as the source/origin of me to such a degree up till now as represented in the dream picture of me standing in the door looking onto my acceptances and allowances and react within and as fear of consequence as the ‘walking away’ in the ‘unknown of self’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence, instead of seeing that I am actually fearing what I have created as me, which is Me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to despair at being ‘too old’/decrepit/lifeless/dull to walk these consequences of who I have allowed myself to be.
I allow myself as and within self-will, self-direction and self-application --- within which I am able to direct myself into and as self-willed self-application.
